We all know it can be tricky to make new friends, especially after a certain age. Well, it seems we’re not alone. A new study reveals that monk parakeets face the exact same social dilemma, and they handle it in a very familiar way: by carefully “testing the waters” with new feathered faces.
The research, published in Biology Letters, shows that when a new bird is introduced to a flock, the parakeets don’t just dive into a new friendship. Instead, they take it slow, gradually moving from casual interactions to the more vulnerable behaviors that form the bonds they need to survive.
“There can be so many benefits to being social, but these friendships have to start somewhere,” said study co-author Claire O’Connell. Just like close human friends, parrot partners often spend all their time together, grooming each other and forming strong, sometimes lifelong, pairs.
But that first introduction is risky. A poorly received friendly advance can lead to a nasty bite or a hostile chase. To avoid getting hurt, the parakeets use a step-by-step approach to friendship.
How a Parakeet Makes a Friend
Researchers watched the birds form new relationships and tracked five key bonding behaviors:
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Shoulder Touch: Just perching close enough to be touching.
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Social Grooming: Preening each other’s feathers.
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Beak Touch: A gentle, simultaneous tap of beaks.
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Sharing Food: Regurgitating a meal for a friend (the ultimate sign of trust!).
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Mating.
The study found that strangers always started with the safest options—like simply sharing space—before working their way up to high-trust activities like sharing food. Some pairs even took their new friendships all the way to becoming mates.
For O’Connell, the research felt very personal. “I started observing the parakeets shortly before I moved to Cincinnati to start graduate school. I was excited but also a little nervous about making new friends,” she said. “At the same time, I was literally watching the parakeets make new friends themselves… I started realizing there may be something I could learn from them.”
So, the next time you’re nervously working up the courage to chat with someone new, remember the monk parakeet. Sometimes, the best friendships start with just a simple, cautious step forward.